Flashback to the last time you were sitting in bumper to bumper in RUSH HOUR traffic. It's gridlock, yet the guy behind you keeps honking his horn as if there is anywhere for you to move.
Now you’re questioning every decision you made up until this point: if only I didn't spend that extra 20 minutes talking to a co-worker. If only I didn't take that detour to go shopping. And a slew of other excuses: you wouldn't be STUCK in traffic.
The same rules apply in your life. You begin to question: why haven't you seen results? When is the money coming in? Where is my dream job? What to do next?
When you’re driving you have multiple routes to get home, so why should your life be any different. When Plan A fails...theirs 25 other letters left in the ALPHABET to get shit done!
Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” ~Mandy Hale
Unfortunately, being stuck in life is inevitable but staying stuck is a choice.
We all get STUCK!
Stuck in Traffic!
Stuck in Fear!
Stuck at a crappy job!
Stuck in a toxic relationship!
Stuck in the past!
It's easy to say you want things to change in your life but it's up to you to make your life change.
You can't start the next chapter,
Here are 4TRICKS to become UN-STUCK:
1. Stop Dragging Your Feet
Put your head back in the game and stop making excuses. My Grandmother always uses to tell me "excuses won't pay the bills." And now that I'm older and pay bills... I totally know what she meant.
You have to pick your feet up and start each day with a positive outlook. It's simple, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
2. Ask yourself: what have you accomplished?
Let's go old school and take out a pen and paper and write out the things you've accomplished this year. We spend so much time sticking and moving that we never celebrate the little wins.
We only focus on how much "more" work needs to be done instead of realizing how far we've come. Now that doesn't mean dwelling on past accomplishments but to give you a break because the transformations won't happen overnight.
3. Stop Complaining
Don't be one of those people who sit around complaining all day. You hate your job--than start applying for new ones. You put on extra weight this year--workout and diet. You hate where you live--research other places and see how much it would cost to move (you might be surprised).
Stop Complaining and start finding the answer to your situation! Nothing will change overnight but your reality will never change if you continuously dwell on the negative.
4. Change of environment:
You're running in place and heading nowhere fast. So it's time to switch up your environment and experience something new. Travel to a new city, try new foods, do something out of the norm.
When I'm struggling to write, I have to get out of my apartment and take my laptop outside. Even being in Starbucks around other people working...I feel motivated and something just sparks and next thing you know, I've outlined an entire article.
Change the people you are around, join networking groups in your city. Your NETWORK is your NETWORTH! And it's true so spread your wings and find likeminded people who are looking to better themselves.
These 4 Tricks will get you up and running. Now GET F**King Going!!! What Are You Waiting For??
I can't be in this relationship anymore. We need to break up!
I'm not happy and I won't allow you to keep dragging me down!
OKAY…relax I’m not really breaking up with you…I could never leave your side but I will be forcing you to end the relationship between you and your bad habits.
You were going to break up...sooner rather than later, anyway right?
Of course you were!
I'm calling BULLSHIT on all of your excuses. I mean of course we all have them but it's time to call it quits!
I use to tell myself I couldn't start my own business because I was too busy yet I was running around like a chicken with my head chopped off...accomplishing NOTHING!
I spent years NEVER finishing a project but now no more! I realized I had terrible case of procrastination and I was lazy as shit. I was so conditioned to starting and stopping that it didn’t even bother me after a while…until I started blogging.
Everyone was always questioning “Where’s your my new post?”
So I had to get my shit together.
So I'm here to share with you all of my secrets. How within the past few months (so much COOL shit is on the way), I've stopped procrastinating and began doing productive work to build my empire.
I want to help you break up with your bad habits. I mean it's been a rocky relationship so I think it's time you choose YOURSELF and walk away.
My new course "We Need to Break Up: the KICKASS guide to ending BAD HABITS!" is just what you need!
We Need to Break Up launches September 1st and it's already helping (my test study group) gain insane amounts of clarity and discipline. And guess what the 7 day program is only $27!!!
This course is designed to help you identify your bad habits and what triggers them and give you to tools replace your bad habits.
Think, Speak, And Do!
This process will help you move mountains and create a skills for your everyday busy schedule.
-Accepting your excuses and working around them.
-How to block distractions and eliminate your urge to quit when things get rough.
-Workbook with DAILY exercises to ensure you are ready to unleash your power.
-The BEST PART: You will get lifetime access to my new private Facebook group: Unapologetically Brave, which will be filled with Bad Ass Entrepreneurs like yourself.
Let me know below in the comments if your ready to recieve insane results!
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons -Jim Rohn
It doesn't matter how you feel you STILL have to do the work.
Earlier this week, I was chatting with a fellow Lady Boss when I realized how many opportunities I missed in life by being afraid. The conversation started out talking about how much progress we've made within the last 3 months of our business and we expressed our hopes and fears.
Ultimately I've accepted that I have a fear of reject. I don't apply to jobs because I can't take the reject of being turned down. Shit stings and as easy as it should be to keep pushing I can't. My brain seems to dwell and over analyze why I was not offered the position or what I could've possibly done wrong. So instead of getting rejected, I just wouldn't apply for the job. I'd miss out on great opportunities.
The wise say "YOU MISS EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU DO NOT TAKE" and as much as I hate a cliché...its the GOD's HONEST TRUTH!!!
After weeks of mindset work and a few books I have decided to take back control of my life and take bigger risks both professionally and personally. I love Monday's because I always wake up inspired and ready to change the world...well at least my world.
So I challenge you for the next 5 months to go BIG and chase every opportunity that comes your way and even those that don't. Make a declaration to your to not allow fear to stop you from going after your "desires".
I declare that I will be published in the Huffington Post site and I will receive raving reviews.
I declare that I will move to a new exciting city and start my next journey.
The discipline that it takes to make my dreams a reality. In order to become a better writer, I must hone my create and take it serious and that requires writing every day.
Humans tend to hate the tiny doses of pain for a greater purpose because pain sucks but what we don't realize is regret cuts tougher and deeper. The pain from regret takes longer to heal.
I have regrets for all the chances I've never took but that discipline is temporary pain.
Discipline: the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior.
Regret: feel sad or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).
Are you going to live a life or REGRET? Or Grab Life by the Balls and MAKE SHIT HAPPEN?
I Hate to Admit it but...I'm So In LOVE!
Have you ever heard the country song, Girl Crush by Little Big Town? Well, I have it on repeat, as I write this post.
I've got a girl crush on Shonda Rhimes!
The creative genius behind Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Private Practice and How to Get Away with Murder, among other things. Shonda has single handily made Thursday's one of my favorite days of the week for the past five years.
July is a self-development month for me, and I had to pick a mentor/BFF that inspires me to dream big and of course I had to pick Shonda.
Girl Crush Reason #1: “I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass" - Queen Rhimes.
Shonda is a wife, mother of 3, and currently working on four-night time drama's, while I can hardly find the time to work 45 hours, do laundry, write and still workout.
She has mastered juggling her work and family life.
Girl Crush reason #2: She believes wine and dance parties solves problems!
She's a modern day superwomen!
"I'm a liar. And I don't care who knows it" is the opening line to the book...Year of Yes!
How can you not love her?
Girl Crush reason #3: She is a liar. And her imagination creates the most kick-ass storylines.
In the Year of Yes, Rhimes discusses how she finally stepped out of her comfort zone and began to say YES to opportunities that once frightened her.
"If I don't poke my head out of my shell and show people who I am, all anyone will ever think I am is my shell” -Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person.
Side note: I'm not even half way finished with my New Years Resolutions, and there are only 180 days left in the year!
I was feeling lost in a pool of unfinished tasks and the "real" world!
But somehow, after reading a few chapters, I decided to just be happier and not worry about what needs to get done.
Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about what needs to get done, that ultimately NOTHING GETS DONE!
I'm working on getting shit done!
I can thank Shonda for inspiring me to put me on big girl panties and make shit happen.
It does not matter your current circumstances; you can always prevail.
If she can do it...so can I! And SO CAN YOU!!
I threw out my Resolutions, and I'm starting from starch! I have a set of July Goals that I am ready to SMASH!! I've narrowed down my to-do list and have created an error proof plan to finish everything by August 1st. I will let you know how well the system works soon enough.
My priorities are in alignment with my desires, and I've never been more excited.
Thanks to Shonda I will say YES more and dance it out every chance I get.
I have some new manifesting tricks up my sleeve, and I can see amazing things happening for me.
“Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be” -Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person.
So now I ask you:
What will you do with the remaining 180 days?
Will you smash your goals and create a mountain of success?
Or will be fall timid to your negative thinking?
Are You Excited For My New Book? Because I am and here's a sneak peek of what you have to look forward too...
Remember when your parents would ask, “if your friends are jumping off the bridge are you going to jump too?” My answer would be HELL YES.
But before you think I’m crazy, here’s a little backstory:
What easily should have been the most relaxing vacation turned out to be an experience of a lifetime when I almost drowned in Mexico.
A day of fun in the sun quickly backfired when I moved a few feet away from friends in the water so I could pee. Gross I know, I totally learned my lesson but all of a sudden, the waves began to sweep me off my feet.
What started out as a few feet quickly grew and before I knew it, I was moving further and further away. As I fought back, the waves wasted no time, knocking me back down. Water began rushing into my mouth, and I went into survivor mood, arms whaling in the air and trying to fight back.
My muffled screams fell on deaf ears, and my absence went unnoticed because they were too busy talking. I began to panic, for what seemed like five minutes of me screaming and “swimming” trying to hold on until someone realized I was missing.
After the lifeguard had started approaching, my friends realized I was in trouble and rescued me. I was in shock at how the situation escalated so quickly.
I was thankful to reach the canopy finally and catch my breath. I was thankful to be alive, no matter how sucky life was at the moment.
Somehow, the very next day, those same friends who saved my life had me right back in the water. I found myself standing on the edge of a cliff ready to jump 10 feet into a lagoon. The crystal clear waters had me petrified, and my palms were soaked.
I’m a p-word; dare I say it, Punk! And I don't care.
Have you ever found yourself sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone take risks and live life?
But my friends weren’t going to allow me to play it safe. A once in a lifetime experience, and I was going to seize the moment. I played life safely, always living vicariously through others and today that was going to stop.
Of course, I was scared, but I had my friends by my side. This time, I had a life-vest and a lifeguard waiting for me at the bottom. I guess experiences are a matter of perception: I could have been too scared ever to swim again, except I jumped right back in the swing of things with a new plan.
I’ve always been afraid to take a risk, and this was no different.
Watching people zip lining and jumping from a twenty-foot ledge had me scared straight. As I stood on the ledge, strangers began chanting my name, to drop. I made a vow to myself to take a risk, and I did, I leaped and that moment changed my life forever.
You may never know what’s possible until you see someone else doing what you desire.
I didn’t think I was capable of jumping into the water until I realized how easy it was for everyone else. Some people were afraid that they were still lined up and jumped. One girl even asked to get pushed off because she wasn’t strong enough to do it on her own.
When you watch others take action, either following their dreams or overcoming fear, you realize that you can do it too. You create the life you want to live, and you can choose to be free of doubt and follow your passions.
So back to my mother’s question: Hell Yeah I’m Jumping Off The Cliff: That was the most fun I’ve ever had. At that moment, I became brave, more than I’ve ever been.
To become brave enough to jump off a cliff, start a blog or even write this book, I needed to get clear about what I wanted. Making a declaration to myself that I would follow my dreams, not be afraid to take risks. I visualize my success, as I saw fit for my life. And hold me accountable for my highs and lows.
I don't know what I was afraid of but I know I was tired of sitting in the back sit while fear and doubt drove.
Mexico was my “aha” moment, I no longer wanted to sit in the shadows, I was ready to be a part of the action. I was willing to break out of my shell. And of course it did not happen over night but over time, I began to grow as a person.
To get a peek inside my book I Can Do That Too, Sign Up For My Newsletter.
Creating and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries can be defined as an imaginary line that guides, rules or limits the relationships with people. Identifying safe and reasonable behavior expectations based on past experiences, beliefs, social situations and opinions. Boundaries are also how one reacts once the lines are crossed.
Me: Hi my name is Lakisha Corbett, and I have boundary issues!
Group: Hi Lakisha, Welcome!
Show of hands how many people feel like they need to create healthier boundaries with yourself and others. (Waits to see hands rise) It’s no secret that most of us have border issues, and I’m not ashamed of my issues.
People change for two reasons: either you learn enough that you want to, or you’ve been hurt enough that you have too. –Unknown
Have you ever heard me talk about how I got fired? I always mention it but I never actually state the reason, well here is the shortened version. I was a store manager for a company and due to lack of boundaries and respect from my subordinate; we got into a physical altercation. After I asked her to do something (clearly in her job description) she declined and became defensive. I do not condone violence or fighting (trust it only lasted about 60 seconds), but I was attacked and felt I needed to defend myself.
As a manager and human being, I never feel like you need to place your hands physically on anyone else. Disagreements should be disputed with words, or you should walk away until you are ready to act like an adult. I will not blame anyone else for my behavior, however, if I had stronger boundaries set in place, this situation would have never happened. I was too friendly with my coworkers, leaving room for disrespect.
Here are three steps to help you build and preserve healthy boundaries and all of your relationship:
1. Clarity: You need to be clear with yourself regarding the expectations you have for others. What you will and will not be accepted. Be honest with yourself and clear with others, how being a part of your life, they are required to treat you up to your standards. Or actions will be taken to limit or removed them from your life.
2. Assertiveness: Stand firm and stick to your guns. If someone's actions are negatively affecting your life, address the issue head on. Don't be timid and downplay your feelings. We are all human and people make mistakes, but there is a limit to how many mistakes you will or should allow. Express your concerns in a respectable manner without losing yourself.
3. Crossing the line: You need to protect yourself verbally and physically from others who do not have your best interest at heart. Violations to trespassing (imaginary lines) should result in disciplinary actions. You have to be aggressive; people will walk all over you. You have to respect the boundaries you have set for yourself and not be afraid to cut people out of your life or limit your contact.
To have healthy relationships, you need to enforce the boundaries you set for yourself. Command respect from others and be clear that negative behavior will not be tolerated. I cannot tell you how many times I have loaned money to people and never received it back. And not because they were in desperate times but because they didn't respect me enough to give it back. No matter the amount, it is about respect. Every relationship you are a part of should appreciate your time, money and energy, if not eliminate them from your life.